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US(eless) AIR

February 8th, 2011 · No Comments

Kimmer has never been so happy to be home!

 Hubby and I chose to fly to the Homeland this past weekend for a Niece’s wedding rather than drive (mistake number one). Due to time and cash constraints we chose US Air (mistake number 2) and that caused us to fly into Detroit Airport (mistake number 3).

 We were supposed to fly into Charlotte on Friday to change planes, but our plane had “mechanical problems” and we were delayed by over an hour. Yes, I believe the Captain said there was a screw loose on the tail cone and we had to wait for a screwdriver from maintenance because we didn’t want to lose any parts over West Virginia (at least that’s what I heard).

 When we finally got into Detroit, we had the strangest conversation with the car rental person. I’m not sure what we paid for or how the transaction actually took place, but we ended up with a Chevy Equinox and we needed it! On Saturday, it snowed somewhere up to six inches. At first we thought it was pretty, but then we had to drive in it. One word: Challenging! We actually had to follow a snow plow to find the exit of the hotel parking lot!

 On Sunday we drove the Chevy Equinox to Cleveland. What a boring 2 ½ hour drive. Each way.

 On Monday we got our act together by 8:30 in the morning. Packed up and headed back to Detroit to return the rental car, check our bags and catch our plane scheduled at 11:55. Everyone boards a full plane to Charlotte. A nice man next me has a final destination at the University of Tennessee for a job interview that day. Other people are discussing their final destinations on cruise ships to the Caribbean. Nearly everyone on that full plane had a connecting flight to catch.
And there we sat. For an hour. The Captain states that the plane has “mechanical problems” and maintenance has been called. It will be another hour. The stale air is heating up inside. There are crying babies and the flight attendants pass out cups of water. The Captain then says that a computer is down and that an airplane is made up of hundreds of computers, so if one goes down, they all go down. A mechanic has run to Radio Shack to get a new one (at least that is what I heard). It’ll be another hour.

 Meanwhile, agents are individually calling out passengers that they have been able to reroute. Each one gets applause as if they have just won a prize or have been called onto the Price is Right. The lucky ones…

 Hubby and I decide it is no longer logical to remain with this plane. We have missed our connector, as did everyone else, including the guy with the job interview…

 A heated debate ensued with the US Air ticket agent at the gate. With her stern face and matter-of-fact navy polyester suit, all she could say was “This is the best we can do”. And we were rerouted on a non-stop Delta flight…that didn’t leave the airport for another four hours. We also had to uncheck our baggage, shuttle to another part of the airport and start all over from scratch with a new ticketing agent as if we had just arrived. Recheck bags, get new boarding passes and practically undress to go through security again.

After a long day and 8 extra hours in Detroit, we finally get to the gate for the new flight only to be told the gate has changed and we have to haul ass to a different concourse. A herd of frantic displaced passengers dashes through the airport again.

 By this time, I am certain our baggage is going to Toronto and that Hubby and I will become permanent residents of the Detroit airport collecting quarters from the cart rental machines in order to stay alive by purchasing $5 bottles of water from the newsstand.

 The final plane is smaller than the jet walk attached to it. Each time the landing gear opens and closes I am certain we have just been hit by asteroids. A 10 mph wind over Birmingham has caused this tiny tin can to sway from side to side like a child’s toy. I’m pretty sure upon landing, I left some fingernails behind in the vinyl headrest of the seat in front of me.

 Hubby and I pinky swore to never, ever visit the Detroit Airport ever again and that US Air will receive every negative comment we can share with anyone who asks for all of eternity.

PSA and moral of the story: NEVER FLY US AIR AND AVOID DETROIT AIRPORT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR BEING!

Tags: Adventures · Rants & Raves

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