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Trolling thru the park one day

March 17th, 2014 · No Comments

People can totally and utterly exasperate me on a daily basis. Which leaves me begging the question: Why do men (one in particular) just assume that women (one in particular) have nothing else in their lives but to dream of having sex with you??

Do they think, “She sees me in the parking lot all the time and I know she wants me. Maybe today will be the day I let her have me?”

New flash fella: You sir, are not on my radar at any time of the day or night. So why? Seriously! Why did you even consider asking me if I wanted to “fool around” with you? Did you honestly have this strong feeling in your gut that I would say, “It’s about time you asked! Let’s go now!”

Have I ever said anything to you, in passing, other than pleasantries about the weather? Did you think that my husband was just a figment of your imagination? Or of mine?

So because you’re tired or bored or mad at your wife, you thought what? “Oh, I’ll just go fool around with that extra lady I saw in the parking lot. She wants me, I know it.”

I have no interest in having sex with gross, strange men. I never think about it. I never imagine it. I never role play over it. So please tell me how in the hell you came up with this ultimately preposterous idea??

You’d think that maybe I might feel a little flattered. It’s nice to be considered, especially at my age. But I don’t feel flattered. I feel more like … a park bench.

I don’t know if this analogy makes any sense, but I just envision this idiot going to the park everyday and sitting in the same grassy knoll every damn day. Until one time he realizes there’s a park bench just down the hill and just decides to sit there once. The park bench is an inanimate object. It doesn’t have any feelings. He doesn’t have to ask if he can sit on it. Besides, that’s what it’s there for anyway. And he knows, deep down, it wants him.

Stick to the grassy knoll, troll. Ick.

Tags: Men · Rants & Raves

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