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These dreams go on when I close my eyes…

October 15th, 2012 · No Comments

I have not been sleeping well lately (to be honest, I rarely do). I wake up after crazy, almost too real dreams around 4 a.m. and then I just lay there, watching the clock
tick tick away…Very frustrating.

The newest problem is all of the new TV shows that base their premise on post – apocalyptic doomsday. I’m literally panicking in my sleep! I don’t know if any of you realize that Kimmer is just NOT an outdoorsy type of person. I have absolutely no interest in sleeping among bugs or rocks or cold. I could never go more than one entire day without a soothing hot shower and a fresh change of clothes.

I tried once to use less water because my water bill was astronomical. I tried to make a conscious effort to not brush my teeth with the water running, I tried to not wash my hands as often in the kitchen sink like I habitually do, I tried to not flush the toilet during the night…yea…no…I couldn’t do it. I will just have to pay a larger water bill and that’s that. It’s the price I pay for being me.

The scariest part about the dreams is how the apocalypse happens…I am the one who starts it. It’s all my fault when the lights go out. You see, I have been complaining daily about the programming of NBC’s Today Show. It has gone from a news program to a variety show. And to top it off, their variety
is very liberally opinionated. They have skipped the actual journalism and
factual data in exchange for mindless YouTube videos and paid product
placement. It’s really quite tragic. So, in my dream, I somehow tweet (which I
have absolutely no idea what that is) a complaint about the Today Show and it
goes viral so that every news program picks it up including NBC…and we all know
that NBC is owned by GE – General Electric!

Sonofabitch!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Out go the lights!

Hubby has stated that I must continue to watch the Today Show for a few more weeks until he can secure a safe compound, a generator and a shit load of supplies, 2 goats, 2 chickens and a vegetable garden. The biggest problem to overcome is how does one make ice without electricity? I can’t possibly engineer a proper still cleverly fueled by banana peels or chicken poop and not have any ice for my
tasty drinks.

 

Tags: ODDITIES

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