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The truth about cats and dogs

February 4th, 2014 · No Comments

I had a weird dream. It ran through my head like a viral YouTube Video:

Last night I saw a commercial for KY. It depicted a man and woman “celebrating” his birthday in bed, one hour before work. My vision takes off from there…

The couple quickly get ready for work and are out the door. The man is riding on a subway, happy as a clam. He is wearing a nice suit with his tie loosened and sipping a cup of coffee. He whistles a happy tune and even gives up his seat to an elderly woman; tells her to have a beautiful day.

The woman is exiting the subway station and crossing a busy street. She is wearing a nice suit, handsome coat and pumps. As she is passing a dark alley, dozens of feral cats climbing in garbage dumpsters turn their heads and begin following her down the sidewalk.

The man is now at his office, sitting in the break room, leaning back in his chair. He is laughing and bragging about his “hot” morning with his male workmates.

The woman has picked up speed in order to out run the cats and dashes into her office building’s revolving door. She runs passed several men standing in front of the building drinking coffee and smoking. They immediately drop everything and follow her into the revolving door.

The man calls and has flowers delivered to the woman’s office along with a cryptic card reading, “Happy Birthday To Me”. The card is not in an envelope and is protruding out of the flower arrangement on the front reception desk for everyone to see. The office chatter begins.

The woman is now seated at a conference room table. A dozen other people are seated as well. The male boss is barking out directives as he walks around the table. He is playing a not-so-discreet game of Duck, Duck, Goose. His hands landing on the shoulders of the woman as his (comically visual) man-pig nostrils flare.

Finally at home at the end of the day, the man had stopped and purchased another package of the KY and champagne and presents them to the woman, “Welcome home, honey”, he slyly grins.

The woman is limping past the man carrying one broken shoe heel, her pantyhose are torn, her hair is a mess, and she has handprints all over the backside of her jacket. All she can muster in a low growl is, “You have got to be kidding.”

Tags: Men

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