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The Saints go marching in

January 4th, 2010 · No Comments

Took some advice from a friend. I told her I needed to change some parts of my sedentary lifestyle and get out of the rut I’d dug for myself. She said that it has been proven that if you get up and do something physical for 20 minutes every morning before ANYTHING else, you can totally jump start your metabolism. She suggested something like jogging in place. Ok, I can totally do that! You don’t have to go outside (in the freezing cold) and you don’t have to put on any special outfit or buy any special equipment. In fact, I don’t even have to leave the comforts of my toasty warm bedroom! Did I mention I am NOT a morning person either? Twenty minutes is twenty minutes of warm flannel sheets, people.  

This morning I get up, and while still in my robe, I start jogging all over the room. Well, let’s be honest here, it’s not really a full throttle jog, more like a stern march. I march to the bathroom and march while in the shower and march while brushing my teeth.  I march while catching the headline news and march while blow drying my hair. So far, this idea is kinda cool, but then I discovered there are times that it is best to just hold still.  

For example, I found that while brushing my teeth, I managed to knock the brush out of my mouth several times and coated the mirror in a mist of white polka dots. Perhaps the Windex will find a new permanent home under this sink? I can deal with that.  I also found that you can march in place while brushing your hair, but my advice; hold still while applying mascara. You can march in place while your tea brews in the microwave, but please hold still while pouring in the milk (applies for coffee drinkers, too). You can march in place while showering your guinea pig with lettuce, but it’s best to hold still so you don’t shower the cat in kibble…or the floor… or in your slippers…

I’m not sure that the marching in place did much good to rev up my metabolism as it did nothing in terms of cardio, however, I have been sitting at my desk and have already noticed that my glutes are confused as to this new physical movement.

I can march in front of the copier and on my way down to the mailroom, but it’s best not to march in front of my employers, they already think northerners are goofy enough as it is.

 MARCH ON MY FRIENDS!

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