Kim Says

The wedding that we hosted at our home went over pretty well. There were only a few minor glitches to note:

A major rain storm caused flash flooding in the Ham during the night before the rehearsal. The ground was still a bit soggy, but the sun came out by lunch time and the heat skyrocketed to a toasty 95 degrees for the next 2 days.

Also, the photographer obviously did not pay attention to the weather reports because she showed up two hours late on wedding day in black knit leggings and long sleeved black shirt. Needless to say she requested a lot of bottled water while she ran around trying to make up for the time she lost.

Apparently the Bride had an inordinate amount of issues with the bridal store that she chose. Her gown was ordered too short so when it arrived a few days before the wedding, it had to be “lengthened” with some ruffles at the hem and on the day of the wedding she was testing the bustle and discovered they had never even added the eye hook for it. Thankfully, the seamstress immediately came to the house and repaired the issue within minutes of walking down the aisle!

The two year old ring bearer was clocked in the mouth by his own Daddy (totally by accident, so he says) and ended up with a big ol’ fat lip for all of the wedding photos! Strawberry ice cream soothed the tears though.

A groomsmen forgot that white sweat socks do not look good with black dress shoes. Fortunately, Hubby had several pair of dress socks in his drawer. (No he does not want them returned, thanks anyway.)

And it seems the groom’s mother took this wedding opportunity to gather all of her friends and family from all over the country then wanted ALL of them in ALL of the photos. The Bride nearly had a meltdown in the direct sunlight (as she is a very fair skinned red head) while standing for picture after picture after picture…

It has taken us 3 days to clean up afterwards, but it was lots of fun. I guarantee though that we will not be going into the wedding planning business anytime soon.

Congratulations to the beautiful couple and enjoy Cabo San Lucas! You’ve earned it!

Kimmer’s been a bit concerned about The Old Folks this week. Seems my parents have reached the age of “getting older and wearing out” (quoted from my Dad). Currently they seem to have a slew of issues, yet I have to put on my Magnum P.I. mustache and hunt for clues. Even though I am 40(+) years old, I am still treated as the youngest and apparently too fragile to understand the complexities of life, (AKA I never get told anything, EVER).

Funny part about that sentiment is that I am a do-er. If there is something wrong or needs to be fixed I will find a solution. I do not get emotional or weepy or all dramatic. No, in fact, if it pertains to my children, I get angry. Seems anger fuels my fire whereas whiney gets me nowhere fast. Heh, but at the same time, angry has gotten me into trouble in the past too. I know there are probably half a dozen teachers, hospital employees, pediatricians and dentists out there who have felt the wrath of the Mama Bear protecting her young.

Well, as I have really never been what I would call “friends” with The Old Folks and I currently live more than 700 miles away from them, there isn’t too much I can do to help them out at least on a daily basis. Daughter Britt has been kind enough to check in on them in my absence and Special Neighbor, Peggy, was kind enough to bring them chicken noodle soup. Of course, Brother David, does all he can as the family member living the closest to The Old Folks.

So I will continue to call to check in on them. I will continue to send cards, letters, pictures and silly gift packages to keep them aware at least that I was thinking of them. There will be no “wearing out” on my watch!

Last night there was an impromptu rehearsal before the rehearsal. The Bride, 2 of her bridesmaids, her mother and an attendant descended upon the household to test music, sound and timing. The bride has chosen a Led Zeppelin song to walk down the aisle to. Thankfully, the song lasts more than 4 minutes which is the minimum amount of time needed to get all 17 people down the aisle. Hubby was manning the stop watch, myself and the other 4 women pretended to be 10 maids and ushers plus 2 flower girls and 1 ring bearer. It was kinda funny to watch us elegantly prance down the aisle then run like a bat outta hell to get back to the end of the line to pretend to be yet another person walking down the aisle. Then of course, the Bride had to make her entrance as we all ooooh’d and aaaaahhhhh’d.

Afterwards, most of us sat on the deck and drank a beer while buttoning up last minute details. Seems the Bride forgot to plan the “throwing of the rice” part. She actually was just going to skip it all together until Hubby and I convinced her to use those congratulatory “poppers” from the party store. We convinced her it would make a great photo op. (The Bride is all about great photo ops). Then we reminded the gals that while at the party store they needed to collect items to decorate the “getaway car”, (seems that idea never crossed their minds either).

Sheesh! Come on ladies! Have you never been to a wedding?

Finally, and I am saving the best part for last… we discussed the speeches and who gives them at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. They decided to have Father of the Groom and Maid of Honor give their speeches at the dinner, then…wait for it…they decided to have Sari and her BFF Ria (2 of the 8 bridesmaids) give a co-speech at the reception! If anyone knows Sari, they know the girl will bury herself alive before speaking in public! I nearly fell off my chair in laughter! (She cursed me via text message later that night.)

For the past few months we have been concentrating on the lawn and landscape, adjusting it to be just right. (Yard work is kryptonite to fingernails even with gardening gloves.) We are hosting a wedding on the 22nd and it has consumed our efforts physically. But now that I feel confident that it will look good outside, I realize that close to 150 people will be potentially viewing the inside! EEEK! So room by room I have been fussing over objects d’art and furniture placement. Not to mention the incredible amount of cobwebs that this house collects! It drives me bonkers!

The wedding party will be getting ready at the house. The girls will be upstairs and the boys will be in the basement. I now realize that 1 bride, 8 bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, two attendants and two mothers will be buzzing around like bees by 9 a.m. I felt secure that I had a nice area for them to “do their thing”, then it dawned on me that 1 groom, 8 groomsmen, two dads and ring bearer will be in the basment! The basement is the MAN ROOM!

We have now lived in this house for one year. In that year, I have set foot in the basement perhaps a dozen times, mostly just passing through to my work shop in the golf cart garage. Hubby declared the basement to be HIS SPACE the day we moved in. I was not allowed to decorate or clean or be present for any of his space manipulation. I have kept true to my word…until now.

Saturday we spent 5 hours cleaning, putting together furniture pieces, rearranging desks, printers and computers. In those 5 hours there was only one loud outburst and one small hissy fit (neither of which came from me). You see, I added a loveseat, a matching throw blanket and pillow and some objects d’art on the mantel. Hubby nearly broke down into tears when he witnessed votive candles making their way into HIS SPACE. He said he no longer had a man room and that all the other men will now make fun of him.

I couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would be proud to reside in a filthy, dusty, dark cave with no proper seating or lighting and papers all over the floor and desks covered in clutter. He insisted that is what makes it a Man Room. No coasters, no candles, no air fresheners allowed. Papers on the floors and pop/beer cans are the best objects d’art to man. (Hubby drinks so much diet pepsi that we now just call it Pop Art) Apparently, No Rules is the only moto of interior design to a man.

In the end, he promised to keep it clean until after the wedding. I think I will go sit down there and enjoy the atmosphere while I can. After all, Father’s Day is quickly approaching. I could instruct the kids to bring over some trash and scatter it around. Wouldn’t that just make his day?

Kimmer’s eldest is getting married at the end of the year. This child has planned everything from start to finish all on her own. I swear she had it all wrapped up within 30 days of her official engagement. Now that is focus and fortitude!

Anyway, she has planned everything so well and concise that a mother has no need here. I just hand over a check whenever I can and tell her to make the most of it. Until, apparently the issue now is that she and her fiancé do not have an “OUR SONG”. OMG! NO SONG?

Everyone has a song. It’s the one you hear on the radio and immediately think back to that special moment in time. It’s the one with the lyrics that just make you smile and picture the face of your loved one. It’s the one where the two of you drop whatever you are doing and break out into a faux waltz wherever you are standing. It’s the one. It’s OUR SONG.

Funny twist on this story is that Hubby and I have an OUR SONG. Have I told you lately that I love you, by Van Morrison. As a matter of fact, we repeat parts of the lyrics to each other all the time. It’s kind of like a code between the two of us. We simply say, randomly, “Have I told you lately?” These words end up in holiday cards, text messages, Facebook blurbs and between goodnight kisses. As magical as any comfort food, these words are enough to fix any bad day.

So when I mentioned to Hubby that Britt and her fiancé do not have a song, he said that that was OK, because we didn’t either. WHAT? HUH? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? Needless to say, I razzed him relentlessly for a few days without giving him any hints, because it just so happened that we had tickets to actually see VAN MORRISON IN CONCERT IN THE HAM ON MONDAY NIGHT. We had terrible, nose bleed seats, people kept getting up and down and interrupting our view, he did not engage the audience, he did not stall between songs, he started promptly at 8 and finished up within 1 hour and 45 minutes. Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma’am! and out the door he went! (Probably at his age, to get back to his hotel and tucked into bed by 10:30 tops.)

But when Van Morrison played Have I told you Lately, Hubby smiled, put his hand on my knee and kissed me on the cheek. Everyone has an OUR SONG.

Play on, Maestro.