Kim Says

Sari’s Doctor has been insisting for the final month of pregnancy that Scout was either going to be an 8(+)lb boy or he was residing in a very plush penthouse. 

Friday, Feb 12, the doctor decides that Scout just isn’t moving much anymore and that it was best he leave his posh abode and join the rest of us. Sari and her Hubby move into the Huntsvegas Hilton on Sunday night, while I move into their house to care for big sister, Scooter. 

Scout apparently was in no hurry to leave his happy home. By 5pm on Monday, he still had made no indication of moving out. I left the hospital to go pick up Scooter from after-school care and brought her back with me to visit her mom one more time. We arrived just in time to catch the doctor dashing out of Sari’s room. Scout had changed his mind! He was on his way…NOW!  

At 6:04pm, Monday, February 15, 2010 a new baby came into the world! He was 6lbs 3 oz and 19.5 inches long. Maybe the penthouse isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? He has red hair and blue eyes (so far) and definitely has his big sister’s profile. Everyone is happy and healthy!  

I am now G.G. squared.

Valentine’s Day afternoon at the Roommates’ house: Boy is crashed out on the couch enjoying a sweet cat nap. Roommate #2 has just emerged from his room after a long night of bartending. Roommate #3 is just returning from his lunch shift as he trips over a bag mysteriously left on the front step and falls into the front door. Roommates 2 and 3 cautiously open the bag to reveal a case of baby formula. Rifling through the bag, they search for a card or note indicating to whom this awful item belongs. A vigorous game of hot potato begins. Each proclaiming, “It’s not mine!” 

Roommate #3 cries, “I don’t even have a girlfriend!”

Roommate #2 declares, “I don’t even know how to spell girlfriend!” 

Boy stirs from his peaceful slumber demanding what all this commotion is over. The Roommates toss the cootie bag to Boy, “it’s not mine!” they claim in unison. 

Boy laughs, “you idiots, my sister is having her baby tomorrow! I’m delivering this bag to her from her friend.” 

That night, three Roommates are out celebrating Valentine’s Day together. No girls allowed. Whew!

Obviously, I cannot substantiate a blanket assumption like that. There is good and bad in all of us. But from my personal experience, observations and research, this is mostly true. 

You see, the problems begin in law school. Law students are taught an entirely different way of thinking. The Socratic Method, it is called. Which pushes common sense right out of one’s head. There’s no room for it. Only analytic logic remains: 

If Bob and Sue both have red hair and are travelling southbound on the 3:30 train to Fresno, what flavor ice cream will be the biggest seller in Albuquerque on Tuesday? …or something like that. Believe me, I did poorly on the logic section of the LSAT.  

Lawyers see everything in shades of green. There are 15 different outcomes for every situation and at least one of them can be billed for.  This also coincides with the fact that they can never commit to one solid answer, it depends on their client as to which “truth” is going to be true on that particular day. And they always expect the worst.  

Now take all this information and apply it to a lawyer’s offspring: Son wants to be a filthy rich entrepreneur. He’s going to flip cars for profit. Lawyer tells him you have to at least know something about cars to get started. I don’t think you have any idea how to buy and sell cars, Son. What a stupid idea. I think you should go to Hollywood and be an actor. But I went ahead and had my secretary file the Articles of Incorporation with the County, making your business legal. You owe me $95.00 in filing fees, so you can work it off by cleaning my house. See you on Thursday.  

Do you see the logic?

It is depressing when all of your heroes have let you down. Not in a big way, mind you. My Butch Walker let me down when he sang his farewell lullaby and put away his younger days essentially forcing me to say goodnight to the “good times” Boy and I shared while enjoying his music together.

Peyton Manning let me down when he gave up the opportunity to have an undefeated season and then didn’t even show up for the Superbowl. I don’t even like 24 this season. Keifer has let me down too.  

The only redeeming person, who still qualifies for hero status, is my Hubby. I broke the garbage disposal…again. He spent his Sunday taking that whole damn thing apart and finding a butter knife broken and lodged in the blades. It’s not how he wanted to spend his Superbowl Sunday, but he fought the good fight and came out a winner.  

Thank you honey. You are the best.

The weather here has been great for movie watching. The consistent and relentless rain makes the movie theater the best place to be on the weekends. Although some of my pals in the northern states are experiencing snowstorms, I’d rather be in Bama. Gee, this global warming stuff is really harsh, eh? Whatever. 

All of our favorite movie stars have been putting out new movies lately. Two weekends ago, we went to see Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli. Talk about slooooow. Didn’t care for that one at all. Too bad though, I had high hopes for a post apocalyptic Mad Max theme. Then last weekend Mel Gibson showcased his first movie starring role in nearly eight years. The Edge of Darkness was very heavy and a bit intense. I can’t say it was a bad movie, but it’s definitely not going to be ranked as one of my favorite Mel movies. This weekend we are going to see Hubby’s favorite, John Travolta in From Paris with Love. I’ve always liked the roles where Travolta plays a bad guy. Face Off and Broken Arrow are two that come to mind. So I hope this new one is along those lines.

Finally, in two weeks, Bruce Willis has a new one coming out, Cop Out. Unfortunately, it also stars Tracy Morgan. I’ve never really cared for him, it’s mostly has to do with his whiney voice. Very irritating. Hopefully, Bruce will do most of the talking.  Have a great weekend everyone!