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Only the Lonely

October 15th, 2009 · No Comments

The newest “missing link” has been discovered, researched and now made public after 15 years. “Artie”, as the archaeologists call her, is a discovery that apparently proves today’s homo sapiens are not descendants of chimpanzees. Artie (and other females of her ilk) preferred males that could walk upright which enabled them to carry more food, as opposed to the He-Man males that fought each other for female attention and bared their fang-like teeth.

I guess this just proves once again that we women prefer a man who can give us stuff (preferably shiny stuff) but at least a good meal before we even acknowledge his evolutionary existence.

I also heard that men tend to be drawn to women who smell like baked goods. Would that be associated with the Oedipus Complex? Perhaps boys should really NOT be breastfed??

Therefore, next time we gravitate towards the local watering hole in search of a mate, the male species needs to keep some crisp maple-cured bacon in his pockets and the ladies can fill their purses with Krispy Kremes.

This ought to really cut down on the boring small talk, don’t ya think?

Tags: Men · Women

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