Monday morning (March 7) I received several calls from my family. Mother had made a “Living Will” years ago stating that she would not want to be kept alive by artificial means. Dad made the decision to “let her go”. Hubby and I finished our work, packed the car and drove all night. We went straight to the hospital by 9 am and at 10 am the doctor made his final comments. The church pastor said a prayer and the nurses detached her from all of the equipment. The doctor warned us that it could be up to 24 hours for all of the organs to shut down and they would keep her as comfortable as possible.
By 3:30 pm Hubby was falling asleep in a chair so we checked into our hotel and got a much needed two hour nap before returning to the hospital. By 9 pm the rest of the family had made the decision to go home, but my sister-in law and I stayed the night. She is an RN and Thank God for her or I would never have been able to handle the night alone. She sat in a chair at the head of the bed, holding Mom’s hand and I sat in a chair at the end of the bed partially draped over Mom’s legs. About every 20 minutes or so, we called for Mom’s morphine shot and every couple of hours we adjusted her comfort in the bed. I know for certain that neither of us fell asleep for more than 10 minutes, but apparently Mom waited until that exact time. Because at approximately 5:30 am I heard the squeaky shoes of several nurses come into the room and when I looked at Mom she was quiet. All I could say was, “you got us Mom”.
I am glad that I was there. I saw her face and saw her pain. She was a smart lady and made the smart decision. I don’t think it is wrong of me to feel relief. Had I not been there, I may be more of a wreck. Not knowing is the hardest part.
She is laid to rest next to my sister. I firmly believe they are poking fun at all of us together now. I am good with that. I love you Mom. Love you, love you, love you. Give hugs and kisses to Becky for me!