I’m a little scared. I’ve been with this law firm for almost 7 years now. It’s a good job; not too hard, not too demanding and rarely stressful. I don’t make the big bucks like I used to at a previous law firm, but we don’t “do” mornings and never stay late and I get a lot of time off whenever I want it. Which is why I am scared. You see, if I lose this job, I will be far too spoiled to ever work for anyone else.
The problem is not that I have low seniority on the union totem or that the poor economy necessitates cut backs…in fact it’s just the opposite. The attorneys have decided to break down and buy a brand new copier/printer/fax/scanner/personalbutler/easybakeoven.
Yes people, the fact that the old one breaks down at least twice per day, every day is what gives me job security! That and keeping the one live plant ALIVE are my two main responsibilities.
What am I gonna do? My only recourse at this juncture is to actually read the manual, hide it and then intercept the personal, live demonstration and training service person. Meet him in the parking lot and stuff him in my trunk. I’d have to take a lunch hour then and drive him to a remote location where I would meet with a band of traveling gypsies and trade him for two used goats and some stinky incense. This plan may be a bit too elaborate; too complicated…I’m thinking way too hard here. It’s just plain time to ask for a raise.
(If you are laughing hysterically right this minute, it is because you are just psychotic enough to have followed my train of thought…and that is why we are friends.)