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In Too Deep

June 8th, 2008 · 1 Comment

I am an old married lady. I have been all of my life. I have no idea what dating is. I definitely have never been on a blind date and no one has ever set me up with a friend. The dating ritual is completely foreign to me. So when someone brings up the subject, I am incredibly curious. I ask too many questions and I think I come off sounding condescending, but really I am just damn curious how people think and why they do what they do. I’ve just never been there, never done that, so I ask. Examples of questions:

1.     What is the big deal about “knowing where the relationship is headed” when you’ve only been on three dates? Why can’t two people just hang out and have fun in each other’s company?

2.     Is dating really just like middle school? Do you like me? Check box yes or no.

3.     Why is dating so complicated? Are there really rules to go by?

4.     Do your friends have to sign off on your choices?

5.     Why do people want to “move in” so quickly? Doesn’t anybody appreciate SPACE anymore?

6.     What is the deal with jealousy? I do not understand this emotion. (Other than I want to know where you got those shoes from) When it applies to men and women, who cares? If some bimbo wants to put her hands on your man in the bar, let her. It just makes you look better in the long run and if your man can’t control himself, better that you know now, because again, you are better off in the long run.

Ok, so see? I have no idea what I am talking about do I? I don’t even ask the right questions and I do sound condescending, don’t I? Wow. Not my intent at all. Dating is like learning to speak a foreign language, isn’t it?

Doesn’t make sense to receive dating advice from someone who has never really dated, but I have been married a long time. So this is all I have to say about this:

To the ladies: Men are pigs and there is no changing them. Unless you are ready to accept the flaws there is no reason to stress about any relationship. And try to have a little fun. Remember not everything is all about you.

 As for men, well you guys just have to try harder not to be as piggish as you normally are at least on monumental occassions. But the trick is, just about anything can be a monumental occassion. You have to know what they are in your relationship. And try to (insert desired household chore here) before being asked sometimes.

Don’t worry, I am not getting into the dating pool. I am just not a nice enough person. But good luck to all of you!

 

 

Tags: Men · Women

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  • 1 Pages tagged "ok go" // Jun 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

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