Kim Says

I am so sick of government. Why are we, as taxpayers, bailing out all of these big companies? If you think about it, we all now own a piece of AIG, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and a host of others are soon coming down the pike. I’ll take my dividends now please.

So I had a dream that what if I just went completely off the grid? You know sell my house (at a loss) and buy a van to live in DOWN BY THE RIVER! No homeowner’s insurance, no property taxes, no maintenance fees, no electricity, gas or water bills. Quit my job so I don’t have to fund social security (which none of us will ever benefit from anyway) or any of the other senseless taxes that deplete the paycheck that I need every measly dollar just to sustain.

There I was out in the fresh air. Peeing behind a tree and dining al fresco. Birds were singing and squirrels were chattering. When all of a sudden it hit me. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I hate the great outdoors! Go without cable? No Beloved Brian Williams every night? No steaming hot shower with every bathing product available to smooth, slough, disinfect and/or anti-age me? No brimming glass of sweet nectar filled with ice cubes in the shape of hearts? No down-filled king-sized mega bed covered in eight fluffy pillows and a pile of blankets?

And the absolute worst part of all, with no walls to spackle, sand, prime and paint, what the hell would I do with myself every weekend? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Then I woke up from the nightmare and decided on Honey Pecan in a semi-gloss for the upstairs bathroom.  Phew! Tragedy averted.