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High Hopes My Ass!

September 7th, 2011 · No Comments

Today has been a harrowing day and it’s not even noon
yet.

Tropical Storm Lee sat over the Southeast like a Cajun at
the Golden Coral Buffet on all-you-can-eat shrimp night. Anywhere from 5 to 12
inches of rain for two straight days, left us with flooded streets, uprooted
trees and downed power lines. It’s apparent that the storm was strong enough to
scare small woodland creatures and ignite the hunger of creepy insects because this
morning I was rudely awakened by what sounded like a herd of water buffalo
rearranging the furniture on the second floor of my house! After summoning
Hubby to do his husbandly duties – take out trash and scare away scary things-
we discovered it was yet another damn squirrel belly dancing in the soffit.
Man, I am so sick of squirrels!

Obviously wide awake, I went ahead and got ready for work
– two hours early- which I decided was probably beneficial since I could not
work yesterday due to power outages at the office building. Trying to keep that
positive outlook for the day, I get into work early and discover that the mini
fridge/freezer has melted all over the place. Now I am sopping up the carpet
and the insides of the appliance with the last of the paper towels. It’s ok,
it’s just water. No problem.

Finally, I sit down at my desk to boot up my computer and
check phone messages when an ant crawls across the back of my hand. I’m not
Buddhist, I smash it. Another runs across my desk top, I smash it too. Then, I
looked down…there is a thin black line of tiny, gross creatures making their
nasty way down the wall, across the floor and into my desk drawer! Yes, it is
the drawer where I keep my stash of Goldfish Crackers and miniature Reese’s
Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, I opened the drawer! I am horrified!

The only items in my germ fighting arsenal at the office,
is linen scented Lysol and No Streak glass cleaner. A potentially lethal
combination of overwhelming smells that has my Boss accuse me of cooking up a
Meth Lab. My sinus cavity is totally burning and much like Jim Morrison
tripping on acid, I am convinced ants are crawling in my hair!

I just don’t think today is gonna be a good day no matter
how hard I try!

Tags: Rants & Raves

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