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April 5th, 2011 · No Comments

I’m thinking I need to add a new category to my list, perhaps Mental Illness? Random Thoughts? Freak of Nature?

So I suddenly have this weird vision while at work that a tornado blows out the plate glass window in my office. As I remain seated in my leather chair perfectly still trying not to bleed out from the sliced femoral artery, I think which one of these attorneys’ names do I scream out for the best result…

If I called for my boss: instead of creatively designing a tourniquet from his belt while he dials 911 from my desk phone merely with his left elbow, all the while, calming me with reassurances of safety and continued long life; I would instead be ignored for the first 10 minutes while he finishes a conversation on the phone and follows up his comments with an email, then he would meander slowly out into the lobby all the while never looking up from his blackberry and stop at his mail pile to take a quick gander. Then, if he looked up at me briefly before I actually bled to death in my chair, he would not rush into heroic action but instead ponder the situation at hand, question if this really was a worst case scenario and ask for the full explanation of how this happened in the first place. But not before attempting to relate the current situation with a story when he was about 6, fell and split his lip and could swear there was the same amount of squirting blood loss, at least to a 6 year old.

I guess I just crossed him off the Emergency Contact list.

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