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Fresh Air

October 13th, 2013 · No Comments

DSC07541 This is a picture of my spot. It is where I go to get “fresh air” and enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet. I also get a kick out of the irony of the fire alarm just above my table. Yes, this is my outside smoking spot. It is not on a private balcony, but on the stairwell just outside my apartment door. Sometimes I pretend I am on a fire escape in my 3rd floor Manhattan walk up. (It’s the little things people).

Anyway, recently I made a mistake that I can’t seem to fix. You see, my neighbors are the only other people in this building that also smoke. They have recently taken to smoking only outdoors now, like me. So they sit on the stairs and smoke and flick their butts and ashes on the stairwell and leave them to pile up and make a mess until, once per week, the lawn maintenance guys come along and use a leaf blower to clean up after them.

One day we happen to be outside at the same time, and one of the neighbors asked if, when it was raining, if she could sit in one of my chairs so as not to sit in the rain. How could I say no? What kind of a neighborly neighbor says that? (Secretly I was screaming, no way in hell) Of course, I said yes. Now…a few weeks later, I find myself waiting in line to be able to sit in my own damn chairs! Raining or not!

I have an ashtray on the table filled with sand for easy cleaning. The neighbors do not use the ashtray, instead they continue to flick the butts and ashes all over in front of my chairs. Now it looks like I am the filthy smoking pig that leaves nasty behind for all of my other non-smoking neighbors to complain about.  How the hell do I get myself out of this dilemma? And people wonder why I will be that mean lady at the end of the block who keeps the small children’s basketball when it rolls in her yard.

No trespassing, bitches!

Tags: Rants & Raves

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