When I was a young man, I was tortured by the Viet Cong. They broke my bones and starved me for over five years.
Now, as a grown man, I cannot raise my arms over my head. However, I can still give a great big thumbs up in honor of my fellow POW’s as my strong index finger pushes down on that bright red button.
Note: the Jack Handey reference is attributed completely to SNL and its writers.