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Deep Fried, Deep South

July 6th, 2009 · No Comments

Fascinating new study regarding obesity has come out in both Time Magazine and the Associated Press. Time Magazine reports that first comes love then comes Big Bertha! Apparently, within a few short years of getting married, individuals are twice as likely to become obese as are those merely dating. Also, moving in together also shows an increase in packing on the pounds for women; while on average, men show no increase. Women who have been living with their significant other for five years or less have a 63% increased risk of obesity! The longer a woman lives with her romantic partner, the more weight she packs on! I knew men were bad for our health I just couldn’t prove it before!

Why do we women get the gristly end of the pork chop?

CDC reports that I reside in the second fattest state in the Nation. Alabama is second only to Mississippi (holding this ominous title for the 5th year in a row), but the tide is rolling as Baby Boomers beef up! (39% of all Baby Boomers from 55 – 64 are obese in Alabama.)

Nearly one-third of all Americans are obese.  

Rankings for adult obesity are as follows: Mississippi, Alabama, then followed by West Virginia and then Tennessee. Mississippi also holds the golden challis for obese children at a whopping 44.4%, followed by Arkansas and then Georgia.

I was beginning to think only the good die young in the south (at least fat and happy), but those wily Michiganders came in second with 36% of the fattest Baby Boomers in the Nation. Beauty, eh?

Apparently, if you are fit and healthy, you live in Colorado. No one is allowed to be fat in Colorado. They must kick you out or a secret SWAT Unit scoops you up under the cloak of darkness and whisks you away to a fat camp or a reality TV show or something. Maybe they just shove you down a ski slope and call it an avalanche?

I can honestly say I am not as scrawny as I used to be. With age comes some level of “I just don’t care how many calories it has, I just want it to taste good”. Then there is that consensus that “I’ve worked hard all my life and I just want to relax.” No hauling kids from one sporting event to another, no dance recitals, no school bake sales or car washes to attend or organize. No continuing education classes, no boss ass-kissing company retreats, and no one to answer to. Just good old fashioned, do nothing, discuss nothing, stress about nothing, sit on my ass for a lousy minute. Add a nice, cold, tasty drink to top it off!

Cheers to all my over-worked, over-scheduled and comfortably over-weight peeps! Pork rinds anyone?

Tags: Marriage · Men · Women

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