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Climb Aboard the Wayback Machine

July 15th, 2008 · No Comments

When Kim was a kid she didn’t have a whole lot of responsibilities. Being the youngest of the family has its advantages.  When it came to important “adult” stuff I was on a need -to-know basis and it seems I mostly didn’t need to know, but that also meant I got off pretty easy. I heard my sister tell stories of Nazi-like parents when it came to keeping your room clean and doing your schoolwork, curfews and dating, etc… By the time I came along, my parents handed over the parenting job to my two older brothers. Now mind you, they were still in High School, so not a whole of parenting skills were evident. I think the brother that was closest in age to me assumed that if I was with him he was doing his job by keeping an eye on me (oh and the things I learned hanging with the older crowd). The other brother was the heavy handed one. He made me hang up the phone and stay in on school nights. Bastard.

The brothers did most of the real work. They made dinner, did dishes, laundry, they provided car and house repairs; my jobs mostly consisted of getting up on Saturday morning to dust the furniture, run the sweeper, clean out the guinea pig cage and bathe/brush/trim the dog.

To this day, I keep a really clean piggy cage, but I have no idea how to cook anything other than your usual boring meal. I can do spaghetti on Tuesday and hamburgers on Thursday, I once tried to make meatloaf and decided it looked way too much like Alpo and called Little Caeser’s instead. I have no idea how to balance a checkbook and I have no sense of direction. (Thank God for Quick Books and Mapquest)   I was nearly 30 years old before I ever pumped gas by myself! I was devastated the day the last gas station back home discontinued Full Service! And checking the oil? Me? The only dipstick I know is my ex-husband.

Let’s just say, every day I still learn something new. For example, did you know meat needs to “rest” when you take it off the grill? Did you know that Clorox makes a stainless steel sink shine? Did you know that it is illegal to sell artificially colored potatoes in Alabama? Did you know gas was so damn expensive? Man, that I did not need to know.

Tags: Biographical

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