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Bedtime Story

November 10th, 2009 · No Comments

A few months ago, Miss Britt was IM’ing me with despair in her heart. Seems someone from her circle had emailed her a picture of their bright, shiny, new Coach purse. An expensive addition to apparently an already extensive collection. Miss Britt felt defeated. She could not afford such luxury and whined when was it going to be her turn? Now, to me, a purse is nothing more than a vehicle in which to haul your crap around. I could care less if it has a name brand, but this is not about me, it is about Miss Britt’s “what about me” tantrum.  So I try to be a good mother (I know it’s a stretch) and without blowing unnecessary smoke up the child’s ass, I tell her a story I saw on 20/20 as reported by John Stossel: Stossel talked about germs (my arch nemesis) and how we collect and spread the nasty little buggers day in and day out. Purses, he states, are synonymous for petrie dishes!  Think about it, we carry that bag everywhere we go. We set them on the floor while we lunch at the local café, we set them on the floor of the public bathroom and when grocery shopping we set them in that germ infested cart! EWWW! Then we come home, deposit the purse on the kitchen counter and proceed to put away the groceries. Then, we turn our backs for just one minute and the damn ancient cat is sitting in that purse, picking kitty litter out of her paws and leaving lovely tufts of fur all over. EWWW! Now, as I have a rare $12 Wal-Mart creation, I simply remove the pertinent valuables (and useless junk that I know I will need only if I throw it away) and throw the remainder straight into the trashcan! Start fresh, I say, with a whole new $12 seasonally accurate grab bag germ free!  And that friend with the $200 name tag, she’s stuck with it in order to think that someday she’s getting her paycheck’s worth. Now who’s got the better end of the bargain? At least I got a, “Thanks, Mom”.

Tags: Family

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