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Are You Ready For Some Football?

December 29th, 2009 · No Comments

I really do love to watch football on TV. Typically, Sundays and Monday night NFL is my favorite, but since living in The Ham, College Football Saturdays are now a way of life.  

However, the announcers during the ball games are now a total joke. I am thankful that John Madden is no longer on TV. I absolutely could not stand his commentary or his little yellow markers all over the screen. One year they attempted to inject some humor into the commentary but David Miller was a bit too cerebral for the common-man football afficiendo. After all, there were no fart jokes and no one wants political satire to have any part in sports. (By the way, Obama keep your mitts off the BCS, you dork.) 

Last night, I watched the Vikings play Da Bears. It was an interesting game to say the least. Unfortunately, the Vikes blew it…again. But the main point of this post is the newest commentator, Jon Gruden. Now we remember Gruden as a nasty-faced coach. His frown was infamous. So imagine my surprise when he begins to speak on Monday Football. He has nothing but positive things to say about every damn player, coach and team owner. I think one night; he used every synonym he could think of for fabulous. It also appears that OUTSTANDING is his favorite term. Everyone is OUTSTANDING! I think if he continues next season, it will be my mission to keep a running count of how many times he uses that word. It reminds me of a Steven Segall movie where I count the broken arms per scene. (Makes the otherwise completely predictable movie a bit more challenging.)  

The worst part about Gruden is his total man crush on Bret Favre. I really think he is about to just squirt every time he talks about this quarterback. I guess I have to hope that Favre returns to the Vikes again next season so I can also count Gruden’s orgasms each time Favre is on Monday Night. Umm…maybe we should just ignore that comment.  

One last thing, my boyfriend, Peyton Manning, should not be held responsible for the loss that destroyed the Colts undefeated season. I blame the stupid coach. Peyton, you are still a winner to me! Just be glad Gruden isn’t crushing all over you too, Monday nights could get messy… (Did I just say that?) 

Tags: Rants & Raves

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