Kim Says

Health Warning: Life is not all Hallmark moments:

9am      Rudely awakened by husband with one thing on his mind.

10am Rambunctious 4 yr old dropped off at doorstep.

11am Prepare breakfast for said husband and 4 yr old.

Noon   Transport 4 yr old to rain drenched park and proceed to batter aging knees with incessant teeter tottering. Take pocket sized advil.

1:30pm  Transport 4 yr old to grocery store, blow $140 on food to feed other  people. Listen to 140 people in the store ask “Where did she get that beautiful red hair?” (going on year 4 now)

3pm     Put 4 yr old down for nap. Smoke first cigarette of the day. Call my own Mother. Smoke another cigarette.

4pm     Peel potatoes for daughter’s request of real mashed taters for Mother’s Day dinner.

4:30pm  Clean kitchen from breakfast mess and set table for Mother’s Day dinner.

4:40pm  4 yr old up from nap, securely seated before Spongebob with juice  box and cookie.Prepare bruschetta, salad, steamed broccoli and strawberry shortcake for Mother’s Day dinner.

5:15pm Hubby sneaks away from in front of his computer screen to take  power nap.   4 yr old now engrossed in Dora on Demand.   Marinate steaks.

6pm     Adult children arrive for Mother’s Day dinner. Serve, eat, clean up, turn on dishwasher.

7:30pm Waive bye-bye from front porch adoringly. Take advil p.m.  Smoke ten more cigarettes after Hubby says, “Gee Honey you sure look tired”.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the REAL MOM’s out there!