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A State of Being…

May 6th, 2009 · No Comments

I live in a highly weather-traumatic area apparently. Alabama has been known for searing heat, droughts, monsoons, tornadoes and of course, the all-time favorite, hurricanes. Spring and fall are the most tolerant of seasons as the humidity doesn’t cause spontaneous human combustion, however, May is tornado month and September is hurricane month. I guess we have to take the good with the bad.

The most interesting thing about the weather in Bama are the weathermen on TV. Once they get the opportunity to get on that screen and interrupt a favorite show or a once-in-a-season sporting event, they will not back down. Fifteen minutes of fame turns into four long hours of repetitive updates and colorful maps. It can be educational though as I have learned of many cities in Bama that I have never heard of before. For example, I never knew there really was a Sweet Home in southeastern Alabama. I also learned that Palmer, Alabama has a sister city named Remlap (that’s Palmer spelled backwards and the mere thought just cracks me up!)

Also, those fabulous TV weathermen are famous for making up new words! They are the poster children for George Carlin’s famous diatribe about changing words from something simple and direct to something ridiculous and emotionally over stated. In the 1940’s soldiers returned from war with a condition known as Shell Shock now, the term is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Alabama TV weathermen have turned the simple and direct term of tornado into a Tornadic Signature Vortex. It is no longer an F-1 tornado it is an EF-1 tornado. Why?

Then, just as we all have become familiar with the term El Nino as a weather pattern, we just learned yesterday of El Derecho! (straight line winds that mimic a tornado but build an entire wall of havoc that stretches across entire states.) Alabama has enjoyed this new phenomenon for two straight days now. It’s muy bueno!

Finally, that raises one more nagging question, why do all new weather issues have Spanish names? Does this have anything to do with the Mayan Calendar coming to an end in December 2012? El dia del Juicio Final. (Sounds much prettier than Judgment Day, don’t ya think?) And if it’s spoken really fast (as most who speak Spanish do) those of us who don’t speak Spanish will just nod and smile anyway.


Tags: Rants & Raves

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