Kim Says

Just a quick thanks to any readers out there! I hope I can provide a moment of levity in an otherwise stressful day.

Humor truly is the best medicine, so laugh all you want at me and my family! Here’s to your good health!

-kimmer

Several of us went up to the Lake this weekend. One of Boy’s friends invited us to come to their lake house for the day. It was just what we needed, as we needed a “home base” for babies and necessary bathroom breaks with small children (and Grandpa’s with small bladders). It was incredibly hot! Even the lake water felt like bath water. But we got to take the boat out and play in the water for the day.

Scooter did NOT have one television moment for an entire day! Now that’s something to sing about! There was not one meltdown about bees or bugs. Not one complaint about dirty feet or dirty lake water. She played a little soccer, she played a little volleyball. She jumped right in the lake and took off swimming with her pink vest and alligator float. She climbed to the very front of the boat and hung over the tip like that guy from Titanic. I think she was King of the World for a moment. It was great!

Also, the smallish bear, Scout, got to dip his feet in the lake and chill-ax near the dock under a nice shade tree. He also got to bask in the love that every female at that lake house had to share with him. Believe me he knows how to charm the ladies already at the ripe old age of 5 months.

The funniest part of the day was that several people were new to our family dynamic. Boy has red hair and Scooter and Scout have red hair. (Apparently my family is in charge of re-populating the ginger colony.) Several of the younger-set were convinced that Boy’s sister was one of Sari’s friends, who also has strawberry blonde hair, and that Scooter was his baby sister. They had no concept of Sari at all, other than she must just be a friend. And the silliest part was that they were convinced that Scout was mine! Ahhhhhh! Uh….No.

Anyway, it took a lot of explaining to prove the family unit. And that redheads do not have to come ONLY from other redheads. I’m now convinced that high schools no longer teach genetics in their health classes. Do they even have health class anymore? Perhaps it should be a required course in college? Let us review:

Red hair is caused by a relatively rare recessive gene, the expression of which can skip generations. Red hair can originate from several different changes on the MC1R-gene. If one of these changes is present on both chromosomes then the respective individual is likely to have red hair. This type of inheritance is described as an autosomal recessive mode of inheritance. Even if both parents do not have red hair themselves, both can be carriers for the gene and have a redheaded child.

And for those who thought redheads were about to become extinct, it is not likely to disappear at any time in the foreseeable future, at least not with my family reproducing! Power to the Gingers!

(all factoids accredited to Wikipedia)

A big shout out to the 3 new babies born this month! Perhaps you too can be part of the club!

Have you ever watched the daytime TV talk show called “The View”? I happened to be jumping around on the Web the other day and landed on an article recapping what the ladies of The View had to say about a joke from comedienne, Kathy Griffin. First of all, no one cares what Kathy Griffin has to say. She’s practically a cartoon character with a comedy show on the Bravo Network. I’ve seen it, I can’t recall any laughter. I can only recall that she must be required to use the term “gays” every third word. Nothing she says is of any value to any one at any time. Who cares? Apparently it had to be the hot topic on The View. Another TV show that has no value to any one at any time.

Anyway, so as I am reading the commentary, a video of the entire show is magically uploading onto my computer screen (am I being spammed?). Curious (and bored at work) I continue to watch this train wreck.

Now I am not an avid viewer, but from what I can tell these four women are all very poorly trained actresses playing assigned characters on a TV show. The skinny one is apparently suppose to be slightly immature, melodramatic and far too sensitive. Her job is to make mountains out of mole hills with her screechy, high-pitched whine. The black lady is obviously playing the level-headed one (whether or not she actually has a law degree) she attempts to balance the scales of justice. There’s an older lady with red hair who fashions herself after Bette Midler and throws in a zinger every now and again. Unfortunately, these lighter moments feel incredibly practiced and not ad-libbed. Someone should tell her that not all Jewish New Yorkers are actually able to tell a joke. Finally, Whoopi pretends to be some kind of mediator or at least the keeper-of the-time per topic. As the only actual comedienne on the show, her jokes are saddled. Why? She also dresses as if she has not had time to do the laundry in a month. Why?

I could only manage to watch this mess for a few minutes as the ladies simply talked over each other the entire time and no commentary was actually audible. I don’t know if anyone had any valid comments, but then again, I didn’t really care either. What I do care about is the fact that now I have wasted about 10 minutes of my life watching that crap and now I have wasted an additional 20 minutes writing about that crap. Humpf! I guess they got me! I can’t believe I fell for this!

Hubby had a revelation that all those fabulous fast food palaces “were out to kill him”. And that if he kept up his addiction to hamburgers and french fries for lunch every day, he was basically “committing suicide”. These are his exact words, not mine.

I, on the other hand, do not care so much for fast food. Rather than spend $5 per day on a crappy hamburger with too little mustard and soggy, undercooked fries, I’d rather skip lunch, save the cash and at the end of the week use that $25 for a luxurious pedicure! So, not saving money per se, but a nice pedi can last up to a month! Now that’s a bargain!

My addictions stem from my birthplace; a real meat and potatoes upbringing! Literally! I could eat a plate of mashed potatoes drowning in gravy, with a side of Lays Potato chips dipped in french onion dip, with a heaping helping of au gratin potatoes and top it all off with a dessert of hash browns smothered and covered! If there’s a sauce, a gravy or a cheese on it, I’m good with that. You can pretty much coat an old shoe in a Hollandaise Sauce and I will eat it. Mmm, Mmm gooooood.

However, for the past couple of months Hubby and I have been really trying to eat better and to walk more often and to generally take better care of ourselves. We drink a lot more water, walk the golf cart track and our dinners have changed to mostly a grilled chicken breast with some kind of vegetable. Not a very exciting menu but it has really made a difference…or so I thought…

On Sunday, Hubby bought a new scale. I have not looked at a scale in years! EEEEEK! But I tried it out…now I would never typically share my age or weight with anyone EVER! But this unscientific research is something I needed to share: For the past 4 days, each morning I would step on the scale around 8 am and it would say 133. Each evening around 8 pm I would step on the scale and it would say 137. I am confused as to how I gain 4 lbs every day and then lose 4 lbs every night while I sleep. I mean, I know I am full of shit most days, but come on! 4 lbs of it? I am not amused.

Well, let’s just finish this up by confessing that I am now 39 years old and by next week I am sure I will weigh in at a svelte 124 (at least before my first cup of tea). Thank you very much.

Hubby and I rarely find commonalities between us. There is that one thing…but we forgot what it was… This weekend was no different. I had the luxury of getting home from work early on Friday, so Hubby suggested we “go somewhere” for the weekend. My first idea is of course, the beach. I love the beach! I can sit in the sun, soak up rays, smell the fresh air and salt water while enjoying mindless people watching. Heaven! Hubby hates the beach. It’s hot and sweaty and boring.

Hubby prefers casinos! He can stand at a craps table or sit at a poker table for hours! It’s air conditioned and dark and he enjoys the challenge of attempting to “beat the house”. I hate the casino for all those same reasons he likes it. Not to mention, it’s costly!

After hours of contemplation, we ended up going nowhere. Humpf!

I think he felt bad about the whole thing, so on Saturday he took me junkin’ again. He is always out and about and around the city, so he finds places I’ve never heard of. He took me to this great stuff store in the middle of nowhere. Of course, I fell in love with everything in the store and wanted to take it all home with me. Wicker furniture, embroidered duvets, cast iron statues… I wanted it all and then I looked at the prices… OUCH! One king-sized duvet was $269.00. I just can’t see paying that kind of money for something that Hubby will just throw on the floor every night. There was a cute white iron bird cage with a fake plant in it. Looked good on a shelf or a book case… the price tag said $89.00 (on sale) YIKES! So although I cannot take these exact items home with me, I can store the visual away and keep it in mind when I go real junkin’. And we did…

On the way back through the city, Hubby would see a Garage Sale sign and slap on the blinker and twist the steering wheel out of the blue! I swear we almost died twice! But I did find some cheap treasures. Believe it or not, I found a white iron bird cage sans the fake plant for $2. I also found an extra tall metal candle stick that I had been looking for (it needed to be tall enough to cover a bad spot in the wallpaper) for all of 50 cents! All I have to do is spray paint it black! BONUS!

We then stopped at an Olive Garden for that fabulous salad that I am hopelessly addicted to and had a nice late lunch/early dinner (linner). That night we watched “Valentine’s Day” ON DEMAND (the one with just shy of every movie star you can think of in it). It was cute and worth the time. So instead of spending hundreds of dollars on hotel rooms, gas and fast food, we enjoyed a Stay-cation and really had a nice day, just the two of us.